We decided to homeschool even before my first daughter was born in 2014. But let me tell you, it hasn’t been easy. Back then, I didn’t know I had undiagnosed ADHD, nor did I realize that my slow processing speed had been something I’d dealt with my entire life. While writing articles was not an issue, reading them or listening to long videos proved to be a real challenge, and sometimes, life got in the way. I would get bored easily, especially with long courses. Ironically, while I tend to be long-winded, I can’t stand long-winded explanations. There’s nothing wrong with them, of course, it’s just how I’m wired. My slow processing speed means that once I grasp something, the understanding is usually very deep, but whether I reach that level depends on whether I’m interested or have to push myself to get there.
My busy brain often gets in the way of my learning speed. With so many thoughts and distractions constantly competing for my attention, focusing on what I’m trying to learn becomes a challenge. This mental busyness slows down my processing speed, making it harder to absorb and retain information, even when I’m genuinely interested.
The Slow Burn
My homeschooling journey hasn’t been a quick success; in fact, it’s still a work in progress since my children are still very young. It’s been a gradual process of learning, adapting, and understanding—much like a slow burn. It’s taken time, patience, and a lot of trial and error to find a rhythm that works for both of my daughters and me. But this slow, steady approach has led to deep, meaningful progress that I wouldn’t trade for anything. My constant fear was that I had to race against time, but what I should have realized is that sometimes, it’s better to pause and take things slowly, embracing a sloth-like approach instead of a squirrel’s.
The Beginning: Lost and Overwhelmed (2019)
At the end of 2019, I started thinking seriously about homeschooling my older daughter, who was five years old and still non-verbal at the time. My younger daughter had just turned one, was already speaking fluently. I was completely lost. I mean, where do I even start with homeschooling for my kids? I scoured the internet, hoping to find some guidance, and all praise is due to Allah, I discovered a wealth of resources: blogs, videos, and advice.
But despite all these resources, I couldn’t find a clear path. I wasn’t ready, or maybe I just couldn’t grasp it all back then. My mind, always too busy to process, struggled to keep up with the fast pace of information. The result? I felt overwhelmed and unsure. I even signed up for a homeschooling class and discovered various approaches and methodologies, but in 2019, my brain just couldn’t process it all the way it does now in 2024.
Then, as if the challenge wasn’t enough, COVID-19 hit, adding another layer of complexity to an already overwhelming situation. Just four days before the Malaysian government announced its first lockdown, I moved to the village, leaving my husband behind in our old house. Shortly after, he was asked to vacate the place, while I was still at my mom’s. During this time, my childhood eczema resurfaced, and it was more severe than ever before. I also had to stop breastfeeding my youngest, adding to the emotional strain.
The village had no strong internet connection, which made staying in touch with my husband difficult. We had to find a specific corner of the house just to get a decent signal for a WhatsApp video call. It was an incredibly stressful period, filled with uncertainty and challenges I could never have anticipated.
To dive deeper into all these resources and events in detail is a story for another time. For now, I want to touch on why it took me so long to just “get it” and how things have evolved over the years.
The Struggle for Balance
Homeschooling has been especially challenging because my daughters are so different. My eldest, like me, has a slow processing speed and ADHD. We both navigate the world at a more measured pace. While we can quickly generate ideas, processing and applying them can be slower, much like a computer that becomes sluggish when overloaded. Despite these challenges, my eldest has shown deep understanding when she is ready, often surprising me with her progress.
For a long time, it felt like nothing I tried worked. I remember teaching her using Alpha Phonics, which she struggled with, and starting with The Good and The Beautiful seemed to bore her. However, by the age of 10, she began to show remarkable progress, even surprising me with her reading abilities. It was a journey of trial and error, requiring me to adjust my approach and materials to align with her evolving pace and interests. Even so, whenever we introduce new concepts or methods, her slow processing speed tends to resurface, necessitating a patient and flexible approach.
In contrast, my younger daughter is fast-paced and displays quick thinking, much like her dad. Although I haven’t had her formally tested, she’s already ahead and appears to be gifted, showing a natural ease in her learning. Despite her high functioning and rapid processing speed, she also experiences a busy brain, which adds to the complexity of our homeschooling journey.
Balancing their distinct needs, along with my own, has been tough. There were times when I doubted whether I was cut out for this. I even considered sending them to school, but then I paused. My own unpleasant school experiences, shaped by my busy brain and marred by bullies, peer pressures, and low self-esteem, made me question whether traditional schooling would be the right fit for my daughters as well.
As I write this, my oldest is enjoying the Pete the Cat series that I initially bought for my 6-year-old. She’s only a few chapters ahead—about 3-4 chapters—but her deep understanding of certain concepts often surprises me. She doesn’t always share her progress, but when she does, it reveals how much she’s absorbed and learned on her own.
I paused for a moment, reflecting on whether sending her to school would have been a better choice. I imagine a teacher with 24 other students would have struggled to give her the attention she needs, just as I did in my own school experience. I often questioned my own abilities until my psychiatrist reassured me that I’m not low functioning; my case is complex due to undiagnosed ADHD and another disorder, but it’s all under control now.
Seeing my oldest thrive at home and recognizing her need for her mama makes me grateful for our homeschooling journey.
The Turning Point: Finding Joy in Homeschooling (2024)
Fast forward to 2024, and everything has changed. After years of trial and error, I finally love homeschooling. It’s taken me six years to get to this point, but the journey has been invaluable. My oldest daughter’s processing speed, similar to mine, helped me realize that our approach to learning needed to be slow, steady, and mindful. On the other hand, my younger daughter’s fast-paced nature has driven me to find creative ways to engage her while ensuring her sister isn’t overwhelmed.
Both of my daughters often share the same textbooks, materials, and resources, but their learning experiences are distinct. I can clearly see the difference: while my youngest was ready to learn at 6, my oldest reached a similar readiness at 10. This variation highlights the importance of tailoring our approach to each child’s unique pace and needs.
Now, we’ve found a balance that works for our family. I’ve curated a collection of resources that cater to our diverse needs and established a rhythm that allows both of my daughters to thrive at their own pace. Reflecting on 2018, I realize that I wasn’t truly ready for homeschooling back then: or perhaps I just couldn’t grasp it fully. But today, in 2024, I’m proud of the progress we’ve made. I’m confident in our homeschooling journey and excited to share our experiences and insights with others.
Sharing My Journey
As I reflect on this journey, I’m eager to share what’s happening in 2024, even as we approach 2025. Maybe my story will resonate with other parents who are just starting out or those struggling to find their own path. Perhaps it will inspire you or at least provide a glimpse into the ups and downs of homeschooling.
I look forward to sharing more about our balanced approach, the resources that have worked for us, and the unique joys of homeschooling children with different learning speeds. Books and courses that once seemed overwhelming have now become valuable sources of understanding and guidance. I’ve learned to finish what I start, take things one step at a time, and embrace a slower, more deliberate approach: much like a slow burn, or even a sloth. I’ll be sharing our experiences from time to time.
My hope is that by sharing our journey, I can offer support and encouragement to others navigating their own homeschooling paths.
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